Saturday, 7 October 2017

19 Days To Go. Are We Really Ready For The Repeat Election?

IEBC Chair, Wafula Chebukati. PHOTO | EVANS HABIL | NMG
All eyes are on the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC) as they prepare to conduct the October 26, 2017, repeat election. The question on every Kenyan's mind is about their preparedness and integrity, especially after the August 8 drama.

Are we ready for round 2?

When the Supreme Court of Kenya annulled the Presidential elections, Kenyans found themselves in unfamiliar territory.
Pressure from the opposition outfit, NASA was intended to have the electoral body officials to resign. Although this has not yet happened, recent developments raise questions on IEBC's preparedness.

However, after deliberations and admission from IT firm, OT-Morpho, that the time was not enough to set up the systems for the repeat election, the date was moved again to October 26.

On Thursday 5 October, Mr. Chebukati, the electoral body's chairman, showed up to the joint select committee collecting views on the proposed amendments on electoral laws  alone. He was sent away for turning up without other members of the commission.

Although he later returned with other commissioners, subtle hints like these raise questions on the body's credibility and organization.

Furthermore, on Friday 6, the chairman announced that the presidential elections project team has been reconstituted.

Marjan Hussein Marjan was retained to head the team which will report to the steering committee comprising all the commissioners.  The team's other members are:
David Towett (Operations), Albert Gogo (Election Technology), Sidney Namulungu (National Tallying Centre), Tabitha Mutemi (Communications and Outreach) Salome Oyugi, (Legal and Compliance) and Agatha Wahome (Finance and Administration). 

Those left out from the team are Silas Rotich, Nancy Kariuki, and Bernard Misati Moseti. It also emerged that the changes were agreed upon after the Naivasha retreat. 
IEBC commissioners and the secretariat had held talks after five commissioners accused Chebukati of making unilateral decisions.

The IEBC chair said the current secretariat headed by Chief ExecutiIve Ezra Chiloba will not play an active role in managing the upcoming elections.

Meanwhile, the opposition made a statement that they had not come to any agreement with the electoral body and starting next week, they would call for demonstartions three times a week.

The ruling party, however, through Deputy President William Ruto says they are ready for the election. 
We wait to see how this goes, but signs already show that turn out may be lower than expected.


This Screenshot Thread About Puppies And A Meth Lab Is Too Funny For Life!

Humor | Daily Updates

Someone had their number put on Craigslist ad for Labrador puppies and she decided to play along blending her replies with a wicked sense of humor.
See the thread below.
Humor | Daily Updates

Humor | Daily Updates

Humor | Daily Updates

Humor | Daily Updates

Humor | Daily Updates

Humor | Daily Updates

Humor | Daily Updates

Humor | Daily Updates

Humor | Daily Updates

Weekend Humor: You Have To Check Out These Funny Memes!

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

A collection of the funniest memes this week had to present to everyone who was ready to have a good laugh.
Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Funny Memes | Daily Updates

Weekend Humor: Funniest Tweets Of The Week!


Funny Tweets | Daily Updates

Twitter is a crazy place to be. Apart from the politics and paid sponsored brand campaigns, there exists some really high quality humor. Here is the best of Twitter over the week.









Friday, 6 October 2017

10 Reasons You Should Totally Date A Teacher


The society and media have misled us to think that these beautiful people are boring and strict. Teachers, contrary to popular opinion, make excellent partners and parents. Here are 10 reasons why:

1. Thrifty and economical. Teachers don’t spend a lot of money because they don’t earn that much.You can be sure that they’re not motivated by money. It’s the kind of profession people pick because they love it.

2. Creative. When you stay around kids, your level of creativity is high up there because they are inquisitive and know no bounds.

3. A teacher possesses all those attributes you want in a person to date; passionate, caring, dedicated, loving and punctual.

4. You will be pretty much dating a superhero.It’s  also a future-proof relationship because you already know they’re great with kids.


5. A teacher can fit into any situation you throw at her/him. Nothing scares them. If things go really well, taking your teacher boyfriend or girlfriend home to meet the parents will be a much less nerve wrecking experience than normal – they’re pros in the parent charming department.


6. Extremely patient. A teacher is used to waiting, writing and explaining and explaining again.

7. Any gift you will give would mean the world to them. Because they’re used to cupcakes and hand-painted rocks.

8. A teacher will keep you laughing. You will hear some of the most unbelievable stories you could ever imagine. There is nothing better than teacher gossip.

9. No late week nights but weekends are all for you. Furhermore, vacation time will consist of sleeping in, coffee and movies. She is all yours.

10. You will feel famous in public, because you meet former students and current students and just about anyone who was in that school.

And they work harder than anyone you know. 
Always giving their best. Always trying to make the right decision. Always trying to find a solution to any problem and putting family first. 
Try for yourself.

As Gikomba Burnt Down, So Did Soweto Market In Lusaka, Zambia

A section of the Gikomba Market in flames on Friday 6 October morning. PHOTO | COURTESY
Early Friday morning, one of the busiest markets in Nairobi, Gikomba was in flames and businessmen counted their losses. Unfortunately, this is not the first time a huge fire has gutted the establishment. Amid claims of arson, President Uhuru Kenyatta directed that thorough investigations be done to ascertain the course of the fire.


In a somewhat similar incident, a fire razed down part of Zambia’s largest market in the capital Lusaka in what traders said they suspected to be an arson attack.

The inferno burnt down wares and properties belong to chitenge (African fabric also known as kitenge) and shoe traders.

"Over 50 marketers at Lusaka City Market have lost goods worth thousands of kwacha following a fire that swept through three containers on Thursday night at around 10pm," the state TV reported.

The market’s operations manager Joseph Musenge was quoted saying preliminary investigations indicate that the fire was started "deliberately".

Ms Cecilia Ngosa, one of the affected traders, called on the government to come to their aid so that they could restart their businesses.

The Thursday night fire was the second after an inferno in July gutted the market, an incident that prompted President Edgar Lungu to invoke state of emergency powers to deal with "acts of sabotage".

The fires are widely speculated to be politically motivated with government alleging that they are being perpetrated by the opposition.

Flames are seen from the market on Thursday 5 October.


The aftermath of the inferno that gutted the Soweto market several months ago. PHOTO | COURTESY


Choices Have Consequences. Government Confirms At Least 30 Deaths From Malaria Outbreak


Ministry of Health. PHOTO | STANDARD

According to the Ministry of Health of Kenya, about 733 cases have been reported in Marsabit, Lamu, Turkana, Baringo, lower West Pokot and Kakuma refugee camp, where 438 people tested positive for malaria.

A team of experts from the Kenya Medical Research Institute (Kemri) was dispatched on Thursday to get and test blood samples of patients after it emerged that some of the patients treated in Marsabit had shown symptoms similar to those of cerebral malaria.

Director of Kemri Dr. Yeri Kombe said: "The team comprising some of our top scientists will travel to hard-hit areas over the weekend and by Monday we will be able to conclusively say what the problem is."

These cases come amid the prolonged strike by the country nurses that has seen medical services grind to a halt. Several stakeholders expressed their disappointment in the government for not solving the impasses in time as many children missed vaccinations for other deadly diseases.

Speaking during the signing of return to work agreement, by the Government and Clinical Officers, Turkana Governor, Josephat Nanok said that the strike by nurses is partly to blame for the current situation.

The strike has lasted for over 120 days as the country still deals with the annulled presidential election.

Hilarious Reactions After Jackson Kibor Divorces His 68 Year Old Wife For A Slay Queen


Jackson Kibor Divorced
Jackson Kibor is an interesting man. He is often seen brandishing a gun at someone, refusing to pay parking fees or even public display of affection. The country is now used to all that.
But when the 81 year old veteran politician from Uasin Gishu took to the courts to ask for divorce from his wife of more than 50 years, he got tongues wagging.
He claimed his wife, with whom he had lived with for more than half a century, had abandoned him and he could not live longer if the marriage continued.
He has since married a 29 year old woman with whom he has sired several children.
The judge listened to him and granted him divorce. Speaking outside court, he said he will donate 10 acres to the ex wife and build her a house.
Here are funny reactions from twitter.

Hassan Omar Bends The Knee To Uhuru Kenyatta, Finally Joins Jubilee Government

Hassan Omar Bends The Knee To Uhuru Kenyatta, Finally Joins Jubilee Government

When Hassan Omar decided to commit political suicide by vying for the Mombasa gubernatorial seat, many expected that he would blame everyone he could for his loss afterwards. He did.
Hassan Omar took it upon himself to air Kalonzo Musyoka's dirt out in the public, questioning his leadership style and doubting his ability to win an election. Many wondered why he licked the man's boots for more than five years only to come out much later when things were not going his way.
He said he was taking a break from politics and even made clear his intention not to participate in the NASA presidential campaigns.
Kenyans were not quick to be fooled by all these gimmicks as they knew all along what plans Hassan Omar had in store all along.
After losing his seat and falling out with the who is who in the coast, including the voters, he had no much options to choose from. If he were to stay in politics, Jubilee was his only option. And he has grabbed that option.

Hassan Omar Bends The Knee To Uhuru Kenyatta, Finally Joins Jubilee Government
Photo | Courtesy
Hassan Omar has officially joined Jubilee Party and is now actively involved in the Uhuru Kenyatta reelection campaigns in Mombasa. He will officially be welcomed by Uhuru Kenyatta in a public rally on Sunday in Mombasa.
During a Jeff Koinange Live interview, he was put on the spot on whether he would join Jubilee. His answer was a straight "There are no public enemies in politics."
The truth on the ground is Hassan Omar's decision to decamp to Jubilee will have no significant impact on the numbers. His move might not even sway a 1000 voters to Uhuru. He has no following and he might have won the 2013 senatorial race because there was no serious candidate in the race at that time.
A state job is guaranteed as has been guaranteed before. Many election losers in the coastal region have always been given diplomatic and parastatal jobs as in the case of Danson Mungatana and Chirau Ali Mwakwere. But his political grave has been dug, by himself, and it is only time before he settles in there.

Your Phone Could Be Spying On You


Nokia 2018 Concept phone.

We cannot do without smartphones, and for many of us, they are the first thing we touch when we wake up. You will be surprised at how much your smartphone knows about you. They are getting even smarter.

A recent survey showed the average smartphone owner uses more than 10 apps each day, up 25 percent year to year. One expert said some of these apps allow access to your phone's camera or microphone without you knowing it.

Cybersecurity experts say that this is not uncommon.

"You'd be really surprised," he said. "Most of your apps are using everything to collect data on you."


Data is precious for the marketing and advertising industry and many apps ask for permission to access your contacts, email, texts, photos, microphone, and camera. Some apps may not seek permission first.

"If this app is spying on you, looking at your microphone and your webcam, if you want to, you can uninstall it," he said.

Malware can also introduce secret third-party recording on your phone and it is possible that phones can be infected with a spying virus. Avoid this by not clicking on unknown email links and not trusting suspicious texts.

"Consumers need to be really intelligent about what apps they put on their phone and what apps they put on their kids' phones,"

If you have an iPhone, try this: click on settings, then privacy, then location services, system services, and frequent locations. You’ll notice a list of all the cities you’re in regularly. Click on any specific city, and you’ll find that your phone knows all the locations you frequently visit. 

For Android, Google keeps just as copious notes on your location and, unlike Apple, it is stored in the cloud, where it can theoretically be subpoenaed by law enforcement or accessed by a suspicious partner who happens to know your password.

How to turn it off: both companies let you turn off location histories from the same pages you can look at yours. But if you do that, they’ll get a lot worse at giving you accurate and useful location suggestions. There’s that pesky trade-off again.

Uber
Perhaps it’s no surprise that a company that sells you cheap cabs through a slick app keeps data on your journeys. And that data is well-used by Uber to reassure customers that their journey is safe: the company will show you your ride history as well as information about your driver which can be crucial for solving disputes or, if the worst happens, ensuring justice.

How to turn it off: the best way would be not to use Uber. But there’s that trade-off again: old-school taxis, whether hailed from the street or called from a dispatch office, are going to end up charging you a lot more for your newly anonymous journey.


Related:
The Kenyan Government Is Spying On You? Here's How To Stay Safe

More reading here and here.

Show Me Your Panties! Raila Odinga Demands The Unthinkable From His Supporters


When a woman recently stripped down on the streets during the anti IEBC protests in Nairobi, many believe she is a loner who had done this in the heat of the moment.
But if the video shared by Statehouse blogger Dennis Itumbi is anything to go by, hers was an action supported by many including the top leadership of NASA.
Dennis Itumbi took to social media to share a video that aims to show Raila Odinga asking his supporters, particularly women and youth, to strip down during the protests.
The video however does not show Raila Odinga's face.
The video shot from an aerial position, shows a man dressed in a white shirt telling them he wants to see all their panties the next day.
Nataka nione chupi za kina mama. Nataka nione chupi za wamama kwa barabara. Nataka nione chupi za vijana kwa barabara.
Watch the video below.

Many people however have dismissed Dennis Itumbi as an incompetent journalist who is fond making wild claims without verifying them in a bid to spread government propaganda.

These Are The Funniest Memes You Will Come Across On The Internet Today



We all need our dosage of memes to push through the day. Here's a collection of memes to offer that laugh therapy you just need.









Hatutakula Kwa Macho! Nyeri MCA Says Female MCA's Dressing Is A Distraction


Many men don't complain when they are allowed to see a bit too much of the female body. However, in Nyeri County, things are quite different if you will. The MCA of Karatina Ward, Watson Mburungo says he is suffering because his female colleagues wear miniskirts to work.

The MCA says that the ladies way of dressing distracts him during House meetings.

“Some of us cannot concentrate as we sit across our female MCAs. Kindly, advise us on the mode of dressing,” said the MCA.

The County Assembly was having a session and responding to Governor Wahome Gakuru’s speech when the MCA spotted a female Ward Rep and said she was scantily dressed.

“It is difficult for some of us to concentrate when our counterparts are in miniskirts,” said the continued the outspoken MCA.

The speaker of the Assembly, however, declined to address the issue and said they were in the middle of other agenda and therefore the matter could do be addressed at the moment.

Kenya does not have a dress code for public servants and women are free to wear what they please.

Mr. Mburungo should be more accommodating in my opinion and focus on matters that drive County development.

RIP. Murang'a Women Rep Loses Mother In Freak Accident

Murang'a Women Rep, Sabina Chege
In a sad turn of events, the sassy Murang'a County Women Rep lost her mother, Susan Wairimu in an accident on Thursday, 5 October night. The parliamentarian's mother was involved in an accident along the Githumu-Kangari road. County Commander Naomi Ichami confirmed the incident.

Netizens came together to share their well wishes and give their condolences to the family and friends.










May she rest in eternal peace.

Raila Gives Propaganda Fodder To Jubilee In His Latest Speech


Raila Odinga at a past function. PHOTO | FILE

While speaking to supporters, the opposition Chief said that NASA had not reached any agreement with the Independent Electoral and Boundaries Commission (IEBC). As announced earlier, he said that the anti-IEBC demos would go on as planned on Friday 6 October.

He was heard telling supporters that he wants to see their faces in the open as they march to Anniversary Towers, where IEBC offices are located to force out the electoral body's official.

Immediately after this was recorded, Jubilee point man, Dennis Itumbi jumped on board and tweeted that Mr. Odinga was inciting Kenyans for the demonstrations. He quoted Mr. Odinga statement of wishing to see women's underwear as they express their displeasure with IEBC.

What was more interesting was the conversation that took place next to the cameraman. Have a listen.

Breaking News: Huge Fire Is Razing Down Gikomba Market [Chilling Photos]









Gikomba Market Fire

Activities in Kenya's biggest open air market have been disrupted all morning due to a huge fire that has engulfed the facility.
Smoke coming from the market can be seen from as far as Sameer Park as fire fighters from the City County government try to contain the situation.
The fire which started early in the morning has not claimed any confirmed casualties yet and we cannot ascertain the level of property damage that has taken place.
It is not the first time fire is razing down the market with many believing that traders' rivalry plays a huge hand in the incidences.
Cartels trying to control the market are also said to use fire to tame traders who refuse to bend the knee to their demands.
Many private developers who are trying to encroach the market have also been blamed in the past for being responsible for the fire incidences.
Check out photos from the scene of fire.

Gikomba Market Fire

Gikomba Market Fire

Gikomba Market Fire

Gikomba Market Fire

Gikomba Market Fire

Gikomba Market Fire

Gikomba Market Fire


Gikomba Market Fire

Gikomba Market Fire

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