Saturday, 13 April 2019

If Countries Were Computer Hardware. An Epic Analogy By A Kenyan Computer Science Professor

If Countries Were Computer Hardware. An Epic Analogy By A Kenyan Computer Science Professor

Dr Mbogo graduated with a PhD in Computer Science from the University of Cape Town. She holds an MSc in Computer Science from the University of Oxford and a BSc in Mathematics and Computer Science from Kenya Methodist University.
If countries were computer hardware. A thread. 😀

Kenya would not be plug and play. It would require 47 different types of drivers to be installed for it to function - but only 3 of them would work as described on the package. The rest would often make the hardware unusable, forcing the users to find alternative manufacturers.

Uganda would be a non-Qwerty keyboard that has been used for over 30 yrs. And even though everyone else has long upgraded to modern keyboards, that are wireless, with backlight, and even foldable, its users are stuck with numerous wires, & hardware they cannot use in a blackout.

Tanzania would be a recently acquired new monitor, supposedly non-staining, supposedly clearer. However, what they purchased is a bulky cathode ray monitor that only displays commands that have been pre-programmed. Any any new thing causes a blue empty screen.


Rwanda would be an Internet of Thing (IoT), new & really ready to rock the world. Users have to conform to its REEE standard (they do not use IEEE), install and use it exactly how they've been asked to. Else, their sections of the network gets removed.

South Africa would be a refurbished Mac Laptop, very promising on the outside, but needs users to re-learn many things to use it. You also have to purchase 10 different devices to connect it to mainstream hardware, but periodically rejects externally plugged devices.
Cameroon would be a floppy disk. It is often missing in action because most computers cannot use it.

Nigeria would be a hard drive with many bad hard disk sectors. When it works, it is exceptional. When it doesn't, you'll get a “CHKDSK is verifying files (stage 1 of 419)” message. As you wait, all your passwords will be changed to “yahoo boys” & sent to a hundred other people.

Sudan would be a laptop currently under repair. One of its most long-term problematic components has just been removed. Its users hope the laptop will successfully switch on after the removal and regain functionality.

The United Kingdom would be a computer seeking standalone status as it does not want to be part of a bus or ring topology. Currently running an algorithm to execute this process, which has failed three times. If they succeed, looks like they will have to buy their own printer.

China would brand itself as a driver that fastens the speeds of all the above countries. Did that with Kenya, and Kenya's hard drive is still making noises.

The United States would be an Arduino bot that auto-posts praise about itself on a regular basis. Problem is its libraries are not very efficient and they waste RAM and CPU cycles.

Unlike Cameroon, Zimbabwe would have been able to get with the times and replace its floppy disk drive with wireless technology. Trouble is that they did not check the compatibility of their current devices with the new technology. Not all of them are working.

</end>
😀
This thread first appeared on the timeline of Dr Chao Mbogo on Twitter under her handle, Dr. You can read it below.

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David Ndii Opens Pandora's Box, Says Young Kenyan Men Are Weak and Insecure

David Ndii Opens Pandora's Box, Says Young Kenyan Men Are Weak and Insecure

David Ndii decided to throw stones at a hornet nest by a tweet directed to young Kenyan men. He says he has learnt more about them and that they are insecure, obsessed with masculinity and cannot tell when they are being used by women.

We take a look at a controversial tweet and all its angles:
I’m learning quite a bit about the young man of today. Hopelessly insecure, obsessed with masculinity, expects to buy affection, and cannot tell a girl who is stringing him along. Wacha sasa ningoje matusi🏃🏿

— David Ndii (@DavidNdii) April 12, 2019

Here are some of the responses that came:




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Evade CRB,HELB Blacklists Then Get Jobless Due To New KOT Naughtylist

Evade CRB,HELB Blacklists Then Get Jobless Due To New KOT Naughtylist

If the signs are anything to go by, things are about to be very difficult for Kenya tweeps who speak their minds. This is especially if what they speak is controversial and not acceptable to the writers of the lists. They have threatened to send and share the list to employers who do background checks. So beware.



Hi, I would like to create a Google Docs list of all the people that harassed myself, @scheafferoo and @chao_mbogho @bintim and if employers want it when cross checking a candidates background I am happy to share. The help I need is for you to tag there tweets under this one. 🙏🏾

— Muthoni Maingi (@NonieMG) April 12, 2019

Yes.

The responses came:




Kiss Presenter Adelle was quick to report two accounts that she says harassed her.


So apart from normal Twitter policing, there seems to be a new rule rising. We wait to see how that goes.

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Kenyan Calls Mudavadi Keyboard For Hire After He Approves Huduma Namba

Kenyan Calls Mudavadi Keyboard For Hire After He Approves Huduma Namba

A Kenyan expressed his dismay on Twitter after Musalia Mudavadi tweeted about the Huduma Namba and supported it. Initially said to be mandatory, it was then adjusted to a voluntary exercise that seeks to integrate the identity of all Kenyans. Daily Updates now has information that apart from registration at the offices of chiefs in locations, the Government of Kenya is now using employers to drive registration.

It becomes a challenge if the person who pays your salary demands that you register on the platform.

Mr Mudavadi tweeted:


 Huduma Namba registration is a critical national exercise with longterm ramifications for every citizen of this country & should be embraced by all. No other document gives the government the ability to serve its people in such a wide variety of ways. pic.twitter.com/nybJ5JST9H

— Musalia W Mudavadi (@MusaliaMudavadi) April 11, 2019

Then the reply came:


 Imagine from vice presidential contender to revolution leader then back down to online influencer..

Kenya can really humble you.

I hope wana kulipa by the way, do not do it for exposure.

The game is the game. https://t.co/43DSrs7Dvp

— Timwork (@rimbui) April 12, 2019

The government has invested heavily in advertisements on all media outlets to ask Kenyans to register for the number.

Friday, 12 April 2019

Blogger Abraham Mutai Roasted By Church of Satan After Saying Women Owe Men Their Nunus

Blogger Abraham Mutai Roasted By Church of Satan After Saying Women Owe Men Their Nunus

One of the most bizarre exchanges we have ever seen on Twitter. Upcoming blogger Abraham Mutai took time to call lady parts "nunu" and talk of how men give women money and believed that they are owed something in return. The Church of Satan on Twitter saw his tweet and blasted him, leaving him speechless.

It starts here:




If you are not going to give him your nunu and your love just don't take his money. Why do some women think it is ok to just take someone's money, lie to him and ask him to just walk away? That is Satanism and witchcraft. We need to be brutally honest and not politically correct

— Lord Abraham Mutai (@ItsMutai) April 11, 2019

This outrage links to the gruesome murder of Ivy Wangechi who lost her life for denying affection to a stalker.

The Church of Satan became an unlikely hero and responded:


Here’s some Satanic brutal honesty for you: Women don’t owe you anything. https://t.co/ixA7USLQsl

— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) April 11, 2019

Meanwhile, many Twitter users that are not Kenyans theorized over the meaning of "nunu"






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P*ssywhipped Former SDA Choirboy Sings Love Songs For Carefree Twitter Bae

P*ssywhipped Former SDA Choirboy Sings Love Songs For Carefree Twitter Bae

A former SDA choirboy in Kenya is taking his public love life to the next level. He went on Twitter to express his love for his girl who we are reliably informed is in China to serve other interests. Ongwenyi Kibai a.k.a Kibai Nyambura posted himself singing Sauti Sol's Lazizi.

He captioned that his bae was not on Whatsapp so he posted the video on Twitter.

 My lazizi won't open her WhatsApp so I will just post it here cc @maumauzdaughter pic.twitter.com/BYJ2FNU65q

— Kibai Nyambura (@Ongwenyi_Kibai) April 11, 2019

In a carefree rejoinder, his "girl" responded:









The comments said it all.. The man's love coerced him to change his Twitter name and assume that of his lover Nyambura.



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Explosive Post By Jalangoo That Rubbed Slayqueens The Wrong Way

Explosive Post By Jalangoo That Rubbed Slayqueens The Wrong Way

A harsh post that sought to tell the "truth" has rubbed many the wrong way. Comedian Jalangoo posted an explanation of why women should always take gifts from men with strings attached. The comedian claims that men are 'born investors and when they invest in you they expect returns.' Then the blowback came.

Many believe that the timing of this post is terrible.

Explosive Post By Jalangoo That Rubbed Slayqueens The Wrong Way



1,090 likes
Jalangoo

I think it's time we became honest with each other....Too many young beautiful girls are dying some of the most saddest deaths you can't wish for someone daughter! It is time we disscussed this issue! Rule one! No man gives any woman anything for free! Yes i said it ! Men can we tell them this! Even your dad takes you to school so that at old age and when he can't provide for himself he will depend on you! So my sister before you take any money from any man just ask them what they want in return and if you cant offer what they want RETURN IT! SIMPLE DO NOT PROMISE WHAT YOU CANT DELIVER! People work soo hard for their money my sister! Do not exchange lies for a man hard earned money! My sister ... my daughter when you decide to live beyond what your parents can afford be ready to pay the price that the owner of your lifestyle will ask! Men are born investors and when they invest in you they expect returns! If you can't give the returns just live the life your parents can afford! And nothing is as good as you being able to afford that life! Do not be sad that your age mate is in Dubai and wearing all the latest hair and clothes, they may be sad for what they had to do to be in Dubai and sad that they don't even love that person they are with in Dubai! Be warned my sister...my daughter...men also have feelings and when promised they want the promise! Do not be a victim! Do not be depressed! One step at a time! Before you take anyone one money and gifts, before he pays for your school fees and rent...before you take the plane to that trip..before you dress in that latest Gucci dress, before you carry that David Jones bag ask him what he wants...if you can give what he want go ahead if you can't live the life your parents can afford! See you all the hardworking women at the top! 

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Thursday, 11 April 2019

Embarrassing Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

Embarrassing Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support
It's going to be a long night for NRG Radio Commercial director Denis Ndavi after his baby mama, Naisenya Kimani decided to embarrass him in public. Screenshots posted by the single mother reveal that he tried to beg him to avoid the social media route but she ignored him.

It is now too late as whatever the internet gets, it does not give back.

It started with this tweet;

and this Facebook post:

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support


Nothing happened, so she opened Pandora's box and shared the screenshots of what they had talked about;


Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

She then deleted the images on Twiter after she was paid.

Steaming Hot Screenshots That Forced NRG's Denis Ndavi To Pay Delayed Child Support

And she promised to come back next month.

But it was too late.

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Horror As Kenyan Man Livestreams His "Suicide" Video After Domestic Quarrel

Horror As Kenyan Man Livestreams "Suicide" Video After Domestic Quarrel

A Kenyan man took to Facebook live to beam to the world his last moments on this earth. Although it seemed like his life would come to an end, reports now say that it was a desperate move intended to woo his wife who had run away after a domestic quarrel.

What is stranger is that a Facebook user who seems to know him said that it was not the first time he tried it.

Horror As Kenyan Man Livestreams "Suicide" Video After Domestic Quarrel

A few minutes after the post above, he went live and recorded himself for over 10 minutes as he drank and swallowed tablets.

He apologized to friends and family and kept saying that it had to be done. 

The video cannot be shared here because of its sensitive nature but it abruptly ends.

Things took a strange twist after comments started pouring in:

Horror As Kenyan Man Livestreams "Suicide" Video After Domestic Quarrel

Facebook user Diana Charles asked him not to mock God.

Horror As Kenyan Man Livestreams "Suicide" Video After Domestic Quarrel

Mary Muteti did not mince her words.

More comments reveal that he did not die and his wife confirmed that he was okay. He later deleted his Facebook account.

Horror As Kenyan Man Livestreams "Suicide" Video After Domestic Quarrel

Horror As Kenyan Man Livestreams "Suicide" Video After Domestic Quarrel
Footage of Kelvin wa Nyambura

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NRG Radio, Pay My Baby Daddy His Salary We're Broke, City Mum Demands

NRG Radio, Pay My Baby Daddy His Salary We're Broke, City Mum Demands

A city mum went on Twitter to vent her frustration over delayed child support from her baby daddy. The said child support is from the money her baby daddy should receive from NRG radio.

It seems attempts to talk to NRG Radio proved futile and she had to use her last card in the deck.


NRG Radio Why are you refusing to pay Denis Ndavi? His child support is late.

— #Repeal162 🇰🇪 (@Naisenya) April 11, 2019


She also added that anyone who has invested in the radio station should withdraw their money.

What does she know?
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Death and Funeral Announcement of ODM, Twitter Speaks

Death and Funeral Announcement of ODM, Twitter Speaks

Twitter has decided to announce the death of the Orange Democratic Movement (ODM) party today. Many are sad that this orange giant led by Raila Odinga has been on its deathbed for a long time. The hashtag #ODMisDead seals it. Or does it?

We sample some of your thoughts:



In many angles that our analysts have considered, this is a sponsored hashtag.

But still:

2 Timothy 4:7 New International Version (NIV)
7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 

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Wednesday, 10 April 2019

OMG! Did Robert Alai Just Call Raila Junior A Shemale?

OMG! Did Robert Alai Just Call Raila Junior A Shemale?

We want you to analyze this very carefully. We want you to read and understand what this means. In an earlier article by Daily Updates, we shared how Raila Junior tweeted that he had received an offer of a senior government position through a DP Ruto proxy. Now Robert Alai just threw a poisonous barb.

This is what Raila Junior tweeted:

OMG! Did Robert Alai Just Call Raila Junior A Shemale?

Robert Alai responded to the tweet, posting it as an image perhaps in case it disappears from the web:


OMG! Did Robert Alai Just Call Raila Junior A Shemale?

OMG! Did Robert Alai Just Call Raila Junior A Shemale?

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Raila Junior Spills The Beans, Says DP Ruto Tried To Bribe Him

Raila Junior Spills The Beans, Says DP Ruto Tried To Bribe Him

A strange tweet by Raila Odinga Junior throws light into already murky political waters. He now claims that DP Ruto approached him and his sister Winnie and offered fat government positions.

He tweeted:


The truth is that in January 2018 Arap Mashamba tried to entice @winnie_odinga and I with high level government positions, a kind of divide n rule tactic using a very senior Ambassador to put pressure but obviously we told him to F off and talk to the source. #WakiropokaTunatoboa

He was responding to a tweet by Citizen TV saying that Raila Odinga had approached DP Ruto four times for a deal.


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How Brave Friend Defended Ivy Wangechi From Online Rumors and Lies

How Brave Friend Defended Ivy Wangechi From Online Rumors and Lies

Like evil clockwork, rumors flooded the interwebs after news broke that Ivy Wangechi had lost her life to a cold-blooded murderer. A 6th-year student at the Moi University Medical School, Ms. Wangechi is described by friends as a brilliant doctor that the world has lost.

Here is a thread he shared on Twitter:




She was robbed of her dignity in death, the cruelest of acts by people who did not even know her.


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Savage! Alfred Mutua Questions President Kenyatta's Ability To Fight Corruption

Savage! Alfred Mutua Questions President Kenyatta's Ability To Fight Corruption

Machakos boss Alfred Mutua used a parable to express the disaster that is corruption in Kenya. He explained that President Uhuru Kenyatta is supposed to take Kenyans from the island of poverty to the mainland of prosperity. However, some people in the boat are poking holes into the vessel and the president is busy trying to save the boat from sinking. This kills the ambition of getting to the mainland.

Here is the video posted on Twitter:


"People around president Uhuru Kenyatta are CORRUPT, THIEVES and LOOTERS. He knows, they know, we know, and they know themselves. They are trying to sink the country"- Dr Alfred Mutua strikes again! pic.twitter.com/gwVbNDJSkV

The "fight" against corruption continues with Kenyans hopeful that this time, the big fish will be arrested and jailed.


So far, there has been a blame game with some camps within the ruling coalition claiming that they are being targeted.

Deputy President William Ruto insists that the country is well on track and the promises the government gave will be achieved.


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Ivy Wangeci Murder Awakens Blame Game Beast, Uncovering The Lies

Ivy Wangeci Murder Awakens Blame Game Beast, Uncovering The Lies

Based on half truths and theories, opinions are flooding social media. There's one side of the story : A murder. The rest are theories and what ifs. As it stands, nobody is really certain of the circumstances that led to the gruesome murder. As a result, people are taking sides, but it does not get pretty.

Side A pushes a narrative that maybe the late Ivy Wangeci had committed a sin that is unforgivable. That she had it coming. Many have speculated that she infected her killer with HIV. But is it?

Side B came quickly to say their truth. Ms Wangeci was a victim of circumstances and she did not, in anyway do any wrong but died at the hands of a brutal stalker.

Daily Updates takes a look at conversations on Twitter:


I'm not rationalizing what that Naftali guy did, but... 

1.) 3rd Feb 2019 - Rosemary Nyawira from Utalii College hired goons to rough up his boyfriend coz of cheating, they ended up killing him.

2.) Ruth Wanjiru stabbed Farid Mohammed 22 TIMES in Buruburu in Sept 2018 !!

— Kushé 🍂 (@Lennykush) April 10, 2019




While seeking for scapegoats, this has turned into a discussion of who is wrong and is right. Yet it's all wrong : Nobody deserves death and this kind of disrespect without facts.

The entire team of Daily Updates prays for strength for the family and friends of Ivy Wangeci. May she rest in peace and may justice be served.

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Exclusive: What Moi University Murderer Said As He Was Wheeled Into Emergency Room

Exclusive: What Moi University Murderer Said As He Was Wheeled Into Emergency Room

A man consumed with rage and evil thoughts. After hacking the Moi University medical student Ivy Wangeci, he was overwhelmed by local bodaboda operators who had witnessed the gruesome murder.

A mob soon formed and they pelted him with stone setting the pace for a similar fate with the lady he had just killed.

The police are expected by law not to choose sides, so they came in to rescue him and drove him to the hospital.

Pictures seen by Daily Updates confirm that he was already bleeding profusely from the stoning.

As he was wheeled into the emergency room, to be attended to by doctors who knew Ivy, sources say that he said these words:

"kama Ivy amekufa now mnaeza niuua Mimi sasa"

What would make him so bitter that he was ready to die after he achieved his goal?



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Full Statement On Suspension Of Homeboyz Radio Mtaani Show and Presenter

Full Statement On Suspension Of Homeboyz Radio Mtaani Show and Presenter

In response to online backlash over insensitive comments on the murder of one Ivy Wangeci, Homeboyz radio has suspended the Mtaani show and one presenter Didge. This is after the show discussed the gruesome murder in Tuesday night's show and gave shocking remarks.

Here is the statement:






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BREAKING: Homeboyz Radio Suspends Presenter Didge Over Thoughtless Remarks On University Murder

BREAKING: Homeboyz Radio Suspends Presenter Didge Over Thoughtless Remarks On University Murder
Kenya's Homeboyz Radio has bowed to pressure from the online community and suspended presenter Didge after his senseless remarks over the murder of Moi University's Ivy Wangeci. In a late night show yesterday, Didge is quoted saying,"“She died because she wasn’t loyal. That’s the truth.” 

The incident elicited an intense reaction from the online community who said his reckless comments were insensitive and inhumane.

Below is a breakdown of what he said:





WTF is that conversation going on @HomeboyzRadio? How does someone hack the girlfriend to death and you guys are on air making jokes about the situation? Why is Didge making puns about being chopped up and everyone breaking into laughter? Fuck you!

— Shaffie Waru (@Mwass_) April 9, 2019

Miss Katiwa: Msee aliua dame yake na shoka because alimlipia fees na akaCheat. 

Didge: Ilibidi amChop. See what I did there guys?

Alafu mnacheka SMH.

— Shaffie Waru (@Mwass_) April 9, 2019

Homeboyz released a statement:





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How Grossly Incompetent Police Handled Moi University Murder Weapon

How Grossly Incompetent Police Handled Moi University Murder Weapon

It is logical to handle a suspected murder weapon at any crime scene with care. While witness account may seal a case, protocol demands that an investigation happen and record what really happen. Securing a murder weapon is basic procedure in many parts of the world, except Eldoret. A picture of a police officer handling the axe without gloves shows that the system might not be working as well.

A possible explanation would be:

The police came in to save the assailant after bodaboda operators descended on him. They had no time to handle the weapon as per procedure but needed to take in the weapon.

However, a working system would ensure that police always have gloves with them : the same way they always have handcuffs.




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Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Idle Kenyan Fakes Kibra's Ken Okoth Death, MP Forced To Prove He's Alive

Idle Kenyans Fake Kibra's Ken Okoth Death, MP Forced To Prove He's Alive

A group of idle internet users took a dark path to give life to a rumour that Kibra MP Ken Okoth had died. The legislator is fighting cancer and is under medication. Pictures from his last chemotheraphy showed the effect that the drugs had on him but he was still well.

Recently, sad reports surfaced on-line claiming that the MP had succumbed to his illness.

Idle Kenyan Fakes Kibra's Ken Okoth Death, MP Forced To Prove He's Alive


He was forced to tweet and prove that he is still well. He rubbished reports saying that some people had "killed" him before his time.

He tweeted:




'I'm alive and kicking. Folks should stop killing me before my time with rumours.'

— Kenneth Okoth, MP Kibra (@okothkenneth) April 9, 2019

Many celebrities and prominent persons have faced the misfortune of learning of their deaths on social media.

Most of these rumours can be traced to malicious individuals who are testing the power of social media.

The Kibra MP is a loved leader and everyone is wishing that he recovers and continues to be an active cancer warrior until he gets better.

Twitter reacted:





Get well soon hero. 
Forget about the rumors and concentrate on your medication. 
Be blessed

— Abdi omar🇰🇪 (@abdiomaar) April 9, 2019

This should open a new wave of prayer for the cancer warrior. They throw bricks and you use them to build. Get well quick Kiongozi.

— Tony Muturi (@tonymuturi) April 9, 2019

Some people are quite insensitive, how I wish we could export them to China for hard labor as part of our loan repayment plans.

— OBONYO Ezekiel (Baba Twins ) (@zecky_obonyo) April 9, 2019


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Source: Huduma Number Is A Scam, Here Are Details

Source: Huduma Number Is A Scam, Here Are Details

As Kenyans continue to grapple and wrap their minds around the Huduma number, more sceptics are expressing their displeasure over the project.

The main question thrown around is why get the number now yet citizens already have a unique identifier that allows them get government services.

Blogger Robert Alai now says that all the tenders around the project are handpicked my elements within State House.



Tender for services supporting #HudumaNamba services being single sourced by people in State House. Josh Mwangi (Pepe) is behind the vehicle lease from Isuzu Kenya. Oxygen single sourced also to provide PR services to #HudumaNamba. 

Like I said, the corrupt are in State House.

— Robert Alai (@RobertAlai) April 9, 2019

Recently, several persons were implicated in fraudulently acquiring money from a top Nairobi businessman in exchange for a tender.

Here are some responses to Alai:




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