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Warning: Play Hard To Get, At Your Own Risk!


This could be us but...
Kioo hakidanganyi mama
Umejipodoa umepodoka
Mwendo na shepu, vyote mwanana
Mimi suruali yanidondoka
Tukimbizane nini Salome wangu?
Iyo michezo ya jogoo…

Off goes the intro verse of an East African hit. Awesome beats make good music. Relevant lyrics make it even better. Tanzania singer, Rayvanny asks a simple question then states an excellent rejoinder. Why should we chase after each other? Why behave like chicken in a mating game?
Now let me make one thing clear, wooing a girl is an art as much as it is a science. Men thrill in the chase for women. It is only natural. On the other hand, women enjoy this as it increases the desire for them. Yup, they know.
It is science because they test the commitment of their potential mates and increase their perceived demand. So how do they do this? They speak to other guys while you watch, to show you that you are not alone. They act busy and give flimsy excuses not to see you. Finally, they act disinterested and take long to respond to texts and calls.
What does this do? Instead of giving up, men question why this one woman is not like the others. Then it starts. First, the curiosity and then the chase. They will try everything they have in their arsenal to try to get the girl (including sending flowers and writing cheesy social media posts).
Meanwhile, the woman will enjoy every minute of this. Testing to see how far you will go. Sometimes it makes sense; she is not interested in one-night stands but wants something more serious.
After she has laughed at your constant pestering and pleading, she accepts that one date. One thing leads to another and voila! A wedding and you live happily ever after.
Well, this is not always the case.
We have the notorious friend zone that all of us know. Hahaha. You chase after her but you are just after the wind. Sometimes you feel it in your face. That is when she replies your text after 10 minutes instead of the usual six hours. Probably, she is just bored. This goes on and on and on. You are still a spare wheel.
However, on one day, the heavens intervene and the man discovers amecheswa (taken for a fool). He gives up and moves on. The woman discovers he is not interested anymore. He does not text anymore. The window period is over!
This is where it gets tricky. If she was not interested in you at all. She will be okay. Everybody is happy. However, if she was interested, the tables turn. Now she starts chasing after you. Too late. You were playing a game with fire but forgot to remove your hand in time. You are in pain. He is now with another.
Just as a scientist tests a theory, an artist knows when to stop painting.
Men, know when to stop chasing.
Women, know how long you want the chase to be.
Remember, this only works if you are sure there is mutual interest.

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